Wow what an interesting night! What started off as a few friends going to a local bar to do some karaoke turned into us going clear down to Ybor City and seeing many interesting sites.
It all started because my sister (Laziest Overachiever), my other sister, her best friend and roommate, and the Hobbit all decided to go out clubbing instead of our usual Saturday night routine of playing Dungeon’s and Dragons. Well since a good chunk of our players were not going to be there due to having a girl’s night out we made the decision to have a guy’s night out, so The Bruised Knight, the husband of the Hobbit, the husband of the Druid, and I went out to have some fun.
We started off going to a sports bar called Overtime, however the was a band playing there and the chances of the Knight and I finding any fair maidens were pretty slim so we made the decision to go somewhere else. After driving south on 19 for a while we made the decision to go down to Ybor City as well. First though we decided to stop to get something to eat, so we went to McDonald’s. Well it was pouring down rain and the poor girl working at the speaker could not here a thing so she was asking us to give our orders at the first window. Well we got there and two of us gave our order to the poor girl. When we told her we had a third order we were told we had to go around again so we went around a second time and gave our order after this they realized I hadn’t ordered and told me that since I had no money they would pay for me, so we went around a third time and gave our order to the poor girl whom I’m sure by now was sick of seeing us. Well after I got situated with my food (opening my sandwich wrapper and putting my straw in my drink) we were off.
As we were driving down 41 I found something out about my friend, Druid’s husband, he is quite the back seat driver. As we were coming upon the split to go either to Dale Mabry or continue on to 41 he first said to go one way then the other, luckily at this point my memory kicked in and I was able to go the correct way all the way until we got off of 275. It was after getting off of 275 that senility set in and I went the wrong way. Thankfully through a combination of road signs and my memory of the area I was finally able to get us to Ybor City.
After driving down the strip for a little bit while maneuvering around the city to find a parking place The Bruised Knight and I saw all kinds of beautiful maidens and were quickly distracted. Once we finally found a parking place we were off.
After walking down the strip seeing all sorts of shinies we first made the trip to Gameworks to utilize the facilities. While there we quickly made the decision that if the Knight and I were to find any maidens we would have to go elsewhere. From there we got a little lost and I caught a glimpse of a few interesting and shiny maidens that were getting a drink from the Coke machine as opposed to their castle to which they obviously belonged. It was after that that I made the decision that adding The Castle to places to check out for the night would not be such a bad idea.
We next wondered to Coyote Ugly. Along the way there though the poor Knight had “fallen in love” quite a few times. Once we got to the Coyote Ugly Saloon we witnessed two very beautiful maidens singing and dancing on top of the bar. The best part was when some guy’s girlfriend paid for him to get what I can imagine is a penalty shot. The guy walked up to the bar and one of the Coyotes wrapped a towel around his eyes and used a belt to hold his head back, she then proceeded to pour Jack Daniels down his throat straight from the bottle, after that she grabbed a sharpie and lifted the back of his shirt to write something on his back, and finally after writing on his back she used the belt and whipped him 2 or 3 times on his derriere. Unfortunately I could tell that Druid’s husband wanted to leave so as we left I took a mental picture of the many fine maiden coyotes.
Our party then proceeded to walk around a little bit and finally went to The Castle. Before we even got in the door I “had fallen in love” with the fair maiden at the door . We then proceeded to become engulfed a mixture of techno music, leather and interesting maidens. While there we ran into my sisters, the Hobbit and their friend. All’s I can say about that experience is wow my one sister and the Hobbit were definitely having a good time has they both had consumed much liquid courage. We stayed at the Castle for a little bit and I must admit I “fell in love” with one of the beautiful maidens dancing upon one of the pillars. However I must say while there were many things there I enjoyed seeing there was one in particular thing I did not care to see at all. I would explain this thing but since I have to keep this family friendly for right now just say a few words and leave the rest up to your imagination. Slightly overweight, mesh hammock. Well after that we proceeded to go home although we made a quick unscheduled drive through the ghettos we each did finally make it nice and safe to of our homes.
The Random Bachelor Dare Card of the Day: “Do a tequila shooter, but lick the salt from the neck of a sexy stranger.”
That sounds like something that would have been fun to do last night.
1,037 words. Sorry it was so long but last night was so interesting and fun that I even after condensing it there was a lot of stuff to write about.
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