My First Time and I Feel so Dirty for Doing It

I still can’t believe I did it. It was my first time ever doing it, but I hope I never do it again. I still feel kinda dirty doing it. I mean she just did not perform to my standards. Whoa wait a minute here get your mind out of the gutter this is supposed to be family friendly here, I’m talking about not giving a waitress her tip.

Today for dinner I decided to go to Pizza Hut for dinner so I walk in and after waiting a minute or two my waitress gives me a menu, seats me, and walks away before I even sit down not even taking my drink order. After a minute or two she finally comes back to find out what I want. So I order some cheese bread and a P’Zone then she asks me what I want to drink. Well she brings me my soda and I drink it until there’s no more and then proceeded to wait for about five minutes until she brought my cheese bread sticks before getting my refill. So I ate my sticks and drank my soda until it was half gone then she brought my P’Zone, and didn’t take my empty plates or ask me if I wanted a refill. So I ate my P’Zone and at this point babied my soda even though she was in the booth right next to me rolling silverware and chit chatting about how she wishes she wasn’t there and how the one waiter’s girlfriend just broke up with him. After a while she got up and started wiping tables, on the other side of the restaurant! Then when I was finished she came over to ask me if I wanted a refill despite earlier coming by and seeing a cup that was between half and three quarters empty and most of my food still untouched. The one other thing she did that upset me the most was when she brought me my cheese bread sticks, she set them down on the table, set my refill down, turned around, walked a few feet, and then said “Enjoy”. That’s right she said it like it was an afterthought, I’m sorry but correct me if I’m wrong but as a waitress or waiter for that matter the customer enjoying their food should not be an afterthought. Now I would have excused this and thought nothing of it if the place was busy, but they were pretty much dead. So since she pretty much couldn’t care about me, her customer, I didn’t give her a tip.

Don’t get me wrong I usually give tips to wait staff, barbers, and whoever but the way she was acting I felt she did not deserve a tip. Do I feel good about it? No, but maybe she’ll learn from this and realize that in order to get a tip you have to earn it. Earning a tip means doing things like asking your customer if everything is ok more than once and not when they look like they’re ready to leave, or paying attention to their cup and giving them refills after they get around halfway through the drink, you know small stuff like that. So to any wait people reading this blog relax this is not a regular occurrence.

Random Bachelor Dare Card of the Day: “Have a group of gals give you a make-over using whatever girlie stuff they have on hand.”

This one seems pretty harmless enough and besides there is nothing better than looking a beautiful girl in the eyes whiles she’s putting stuff on your face.

605 Words.

The Bass Player That Got Away

Ok so I have had a pretty decent idea of what I wanted to write about today and at first was afraid I would not be able to tell the story while keeping it family friendly, then I realized the events that happened were family friendly. So I was worrying about nothing. Well anyhow on to the story of how close I was to finding a Ms Right Now who was a bass player.

One Breath at one point was doing so good that we were getting gigs in different major cities including Cleveland. Well one night we had a gig opening for an all girl rock band. We had got there early in the day after hours of long traveling. Well since we were the first band we got in and setup our equipment early. Then we just hung around. Well later on we were in the upstairs VIP room and we were just talking to the opening band, or at least the rest of the band was. I was busy carrying on an in depth conversation with their bass player. Don’t ask me what the conversation was about because I don’t remember, heck I can’t even remember the name of the place the band played in after searching through the different bars in Cleveland using Yahoo yellow pages and Google Earth. I just remember being pulled away from the conversation because our band was about to play and they needed me in the crowd, and getting the feeling that we both wanted me to stay up there.

So One Breath played their set list including such original hits as “Jump”, oh yeah another cool thing about the band was they didn’t do any cover songs they had nothing but originals. After they played we tore down our equipment and packed it all in the trailer in the rain. After the trailer was packed up Eric who was my only ride decided he wanted to leave not even half way through the other bands set list, although later I found out I could have stayed and gotten a ride from the rest of the band. So I didn’t get to even say goodbye to the bass player or even ask for her number. I had to leave right there and then or risk upsetting my best friend and reason for being there in the first place since it was his drums I was in charge of. Granted the reason he wanted to leave was because he wanted to go home and sleep in his own bed before going back up to Cleveland for another gig the next day at a different venue, but still it would’ve been nice to stay and hang out there for a while and maybe even do something that is not family friendly with the bass player. From what I was told she was asking for me later on.

If Eric can get a hold of the band again I may ask him to see about getting the video performance of the gig just so I can show my friends the band and the band they opened for.

Random Bachelor Dare Card of the Day: “In your best Austin Powers voice, approach a honey and say, ‘Do I make you horny, baby?’”

That would be a pretty simple one to do, not sure on how the girl would react. She would probably laugh her but off at me as she walks away.

577 Words.

Top 50 Worst? songs Part 3

Well since no one has come forward and said that they don’t want to see me blog about the Top 50 Worst Songs, that’s exactly what I plan on doing, and to anyone who does not want to see me blog about this well I’m sorry but you had your chance to speak up and didn’t. Anyhow the last one I did was number 27 so I’ll just right in from there.

Number 24 on their list is Five for Fighting’s “Superman”. I’m sorry what the heck is wrong with this song other than it may have been overplayed back in 2001? This song is a pretty good song plus it was a feel good song for our country after 9/11. This is yet another of the many songs on this list that should not be.

Wow two songs in a row that are interesting! Number 23 is one of the best songs out of the 80’s, “Sunglasses at Night” by Corey Hart. The person that wrote the article complains about the keyboard and synthesizer and the lack of any real instruments, but I’m sorry that seems to me like most songs from the 80’s.

Ok now as I was going over the list again I found one that I passed up, number 45 Ja Rule and Ashanti singing “Mesmerize”. Ok now this song is one that I can see on the list. It starts out good and is even catchy, if you could understand what he’s saying. Heck the video even starts out looking like Grease, and then towards the end for like the last minute or so it changes from a pop song to a rap song. I had to double check to make sure I didn’t hit a wrong button somewhere. Seriously, WTF?

Ok back to where I was number 22 is one of the few country songs I’ll listen to, “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)” by Toby Keith. This song basically talked about kicking the asses of the terrorists and pretty much supporting the troops. So why would it be on a list of the worst songs? It makes you think who the heck is picking these songs, don’t it?

Ok even though there was some other interesting ones I decided to skip ahead to number 19, “Broken Wings” by Mr. Mister. What the heck this song is a classic 80’s song. I’m seriously beginning to wonder who picked these songs to be on this list because this song defiantly should not be on it.

Ok now I have one more for the day since I’ve already reached 437 words which means I’m pretty much in my cushion area where if the judges decided that some of the words should be counted as one I’ll still be at least over 400 words.

Number 16 is a pretty decent song it’s “What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes. This song was pretty good hell sometimes it just pops in my mind and I enjoy singing along to it. I just found the lead singer is now a very successful songwriter. She has written Gwen Stefani’s “What Are You Waiting For”, Pink’s “Get This Party Started” and, Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” (one of my few favorite non rock songs). So I guess even though 4 Non Blondes broke up she’s still making major money in the music business.

Random Bachelor Dare Card of the Day: “Call you girlfriend or your mother and pretend you’re in the slammer and need $500 for bail.”

Yeah no thank you I kinda prefer living. My mom would kill me if I tried this prank. So this is one that I would defiantly pass on.

615 Words.

Irony and Midsummers

So many things to talk about, so little time. I guess one of the funniest things that happened to me today was when I was doing research for a ritual on health. I had just got down the bulleted outline and was starting to do some more research when I started to feel a little woozy. So I tried to lie back down on my bed and it didn’t help. Well I figured it must be because I need to eat something seeing as I hadn’t eaten anything since the two hotdogs I found in the fridge a few hours ago. So I went to grab something to eat but saw that my stepfather was cooking so I grabbed a Mountain Dew instead and went to play a little World of Warcraft. After playing for a little while my wooziness started to get worse so I quickly got to a safe place in the game and shut down my computer. I went out to the kitchen and grabbed a chicken patty and threw it in the toaster oven. Well I sat down and waited for it to cook and I just kept feeling worse and worse after a while I got up to take the chicken out of the toaster oven and just as I was walking by the sink my mouth exploded. I was lucky enough to get most of the esophagus’s contents into sink, however I wasn’t done. You see the hotdogs I ate earlier were older than I originally thought and my body made absolutely sure I got every last bit of them down the sink. Granted I felt much better after that but decided to give the chicken to my dog and just made some toasted cheese sandwiches. I just found a little ironic.

It’s like doing research for a health ritual and then getting sick during the research. Isn’t it ironic? Don’t ya think?

Sorry I was channeling Alanis Morissette for a second there.

Well I haven’t heard from anyone if I should or shouldn’t start the Worst 50 songs commentary up again so I guess that means that either no one cares or everyone liked it so tomorrow I’ll just continue it from where I left off the other day, unless I get a few people that tell me otherwise.

Well The Phoenix Council’s Midsummer is only a week away and I’m pretty excited. I know that it has been hectic as we’ve gotten closer to the event, but I know it will come off without a hitch. I’m hoping it will be as fun as FPG Beltaine was with the only difference being I will know more people. I wonder if there will be different camps like the Vikings and Pirates. Well whatever happens at Midsummers I know it will be quite the experience.

Random Bachelor Dare Card of the Day: “Request Nelly’s ‘Hot in Herre’ or Tom Jones’s ‘You Can Leave Your Hat On.’ Get on a stage (or dance floor) and perform a partial striptease in front of the crowd.”

That would be a fun card to do. Ok not really I wouldn’t want to do that one and I don’t think that people would want to see me attempt to do that.

542 Words

Return of the Dragon Gods Part 5

Alright so I’m kinda getting the idea that no one likes my whole Worst songs posts so I’ll just keep it to myself, however if I’m wrong and you do enjoy those let me know. I enjoy reading comments, that’s how I know that people are reading my blogs and what they think of them.

Anyhow I figured it was time to do another Return of the Dragon Gods story today since I haven’t done one yet this week and I try to do a part once a week. Today’s story will focus on a very minor villain that played a major part in the story. His name is Cruhorn Mongothsbeard or Cru for short, and he is a Half-elf rogue who is a little full of himself and thinks that he can tackle any task possible or impossible. This story starts to take place shortly before the end of part 3.

“CRU!!!” Zanroar yelled, “Where in the name of The Abyss is that good for nothing Half-elf at?!” The Half-elf, Cru runs into the meeting room where Zanroar and his generals are. “I’m right here sir.”Cru stated proudly. Zanroar just rolled his eyes and said, “I need your services to acquire a very important magical rod from the vault of Lady Moonshadow of Firechester. Our friend here will give you all the information you need to get in and acquire it. Just follow her instructions exactly how she says and remember one thing whatever happens do not make any attempt to use it. I repeat don’t try to use it the rod is way too powerful for someone as pathetic as yourself to use it. Do you understand me Cru?” Zanroar explained. Annoyed that Zanroar didn’t think he could handle something as trivial as an acquisition and delivery Cru replied, “Yeah sure boss don’t use it.” He then proceeded to talk to the sweet smelling hooded woman sitting next to Zanroar getting the instructions he needed. When she was done she left in a puff of smoke.

As Cru arrived in Firechester he went straight to the Moonshadow Estate and saw how secure it seemed, but then no security is a match for Cru the greatest thief that ever lived. He casually walked around the back and sure enough there was a hole in the fence. Cru squeezed in through the hole and when he got to the other side he proudly blurted out “No fence can hold back Cru the Great.” Upon hearing this some guard decided to come and investigate. Cru looked around and saw nowhere to hide so he ran as quickly as he could towards the building hoping he could find the secret door before the guards could catch him. As he ran towards the door he tripped on a rock and as he got up he noticed a door had opened. He quickly got up and ran towards it as it was closing, and he barely made it in as it closed. “How pathetic no guards can catch Cru the Great.” Cru stated as he casually walked down the tunnel toward the secret door that was supposed to be at the end and let straight into a guest bedroom. When he got to the door he quickly opened it and walked into the room.

When he got into the room he could smell the hooded woman’s sweet smell. He looked around the room but she was nowhere to be seen. “That woman better not be trying to get that rod before me.” He thought to himself, as he casually walked out the door of the bedroom. He walked down the hall and right into Lady Moonshadow’s room where the vault that contains the Moonshadow Rod of Wonder. “This is too easy for someone of my skills. I’ll have to do something about that.” He looked in one of his pouches and found some gnomish black powder that is supposed to make the door fall off once he used the flaming dagger on it and he put it on the hinges of the door and poured the powder onto the handle of the vault door, and put the piece of string into it and lit the string.

BOOM!! KLINK KLIN KLINK!!

Cru walked over to the door or what was left of it and opened it. He grabbed the rod and walked out the door. As he opened it he saw a vision of loveliness, and then he caught her smell. “So that’s what you look like under the robe.” Cru said. The woman looked at him and yelled “What are you talking about and what in the name of the Abyss are you doing in my bedroom?” she then saw the rod in his hands. Put that back it’s too dangerous to be handled by anyone that’s untrained.” Cru confused runs away at the sight of guards coming around the corner. He runs back to the room with the secret door and quickly makes his escape out of the estate and into the forest.

A few hours pass by and after not seeing anyone he starts back to Zanroar’s castle. Along the way a group of adventurers approaches him. As the half-orc attempts to attack him he holds the rod out and activates it. A blinding flash of light appears from the rod as it heats up and explodes with a great force.

As the light clears up the half-orc is covered in darkness, the dwarf skin has turned blue, the human paladin is now the size of a giant while the human fighter is now a quarter of her size, gems rain down upon the gnome, and the group’s halfling is now covered in leaves. Lying where Cru was standing is a pile of ashes and only a piece of the rod. The dwarf grabs the rod looks at it and says “Cookie.” and puts it in his pants. The half-orc stumbles over to the pile of ashes and relieves himself on the pile of ashes as the party quickly moves on.

1009 Words, sorry it took so long but I hope it was worth the read.