Alright so I’m kinda getting the idea that no one likes my whole Worst songs posts so I’ll just keep it to myself, however if I’m wrong and you do enjoy those let me know. I enjoy reading comments, that’s how I know that people are reading my blogs and what they think of them.
Anyhow I figured it was time to do another Return of the Dragon Gods story today since I haven’t done one yet this week and I try to do a part once a week. Today’s story will focus on a very minor villain that played a major part in the story. His name is Cruhorn Mongothsbeard or Cru for short, and he is a Half-elf rogue who is a little full of himself and thinks that he can tackle any task possible or impossible. This story starts to take place shortly before the end of part 3.
“CRU!!!” Zanroar yelled, “Where in the name of The Abyss is that good for nothing Half-elf at?!” The Half-elf, Cru runs into the meeting room where Zanroar and his generals are. “I’m right here sir.”Cru stated proudly. Zanroar just rolled his eyes and said, “I need your services to acquire a very important magical rod from the vault of Lady Moonshadow of Firechester. Our friend here will give you all the information you need to get in and acquire it. Just follow her instructions exactly how she says and remember one thing whatever happens do not make any attempt to use it. I repeat don’t try to use it the rod is way too powerful for someone as pathetic as yourself to use it. Do you understand me Cru?” Zanroar explained. Annoyed that Zanroar didn’t think he could handle something as trivial as an acquisition and delivery Cru replied, “Yeah sure boss don’t use it.” He then proceeded to talk to the sweet smelling hooded woman sitting next to Zanroar getting the instructions he needed. When she was done she left in a puff of smoke.
As Cru arrived in Firechester he went straight to the Moonshadow Estate and saw how secure it seemed, but then no security is a match for Cru the greatest thief that ever lived. He casually walked around the back and sure enough there was a hole in the fence. Cru squeezed in through the hole and when he got to the other side he proudly blurted out “No fence can hold back Cru the Great.” Upon hearing this some guard decided to come and investigate. Cru looked around and saw nowhere to hide so he ran as quickly as he could towards the building hoping he could find the secret door before the guards could catch him. As he ran towards the door he tripped on a rock and as he got up he noticed a door had opened. He quickly got up and ran towards it as it was closing, and he barely made it in as it closed. “How pathetic no guards can catch Cru the Great.” Cru stated as he casually walked down the tunnel toward the secret door that was supposed to be at the end and let straight into a guest bedroom. When he got to the door he quickly opened it and walked into the room.
When he got into the room he could smell the hooded woman’s sweet smell. He looked around the room but she was nowhere to be seen. “That woman better not be trying to get that rod before me.” He thought to himself, as he casually walked out the door of the bedroom. He walked down the hall and right into Lady Moonshadow’s room where the vault that contains the Moonshadow Rod of Wonder. “This is too easy for someone of my skills. I’ll have to do something about that.” He looked in one of his pouches and found some gnomish black powder that is supposed to make the door fall off once he used the flaming dagger on it and he put it on the hinges of the door and poured the powder onto the handle of the vault door, and put the piece of string into it and lit the string.
BOOM!! KLINK KLIN KLINK!!
Cru walked over to the door or what was left of it and opened it. He grabbed the rod and walked out the door. As he opened it he saw a vision of loveliness, and then he caught her smell. “So that’s what you look like under the robe.” Cru said. The woman looked at him and yelled “What are you talking about and what in the name of the Abyss are you doing in my bedroom?” she then saw the rod in his hands. Put that back it’s too dangerous to be handled by anyone that’s untrained.” Cru confused runs away at the sight of guards coming around the corner. He runs back to the room with the secret door and quickly makes his escape out of the estate and into the forest.
A few hours pass by and after not seeing anyone he starts back to Zanroar’s castle. Along the way a group of adventurers approaches him. As the half-orc attempts to attack him he holds the rod out and activates it. A blinding flash of light appears from the rod as it heats up and explodes with a great force.
As the light clears up the half-orc is covered in darkness, the dwarf skin has turned blue, the human paladin is now the size of a giant while the human fighter is now a quarter of her size, gems rain down upon the gnome, and the group’s halfling is now covered in leaves. Lying where Cru was standing is a pile of ashes and only a piece of the rod. The dwarf grabs the rod looks at it and says “Cookie.” and puts it in his pants. The half-orc stumbles over to the pile of ashes and relieves himself on the pile of ashes as the party quickly moves on.
1009 Words, sorry it took so long but I hope it was worth the read.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Top 50 Worst songs Part 2
Well yesterday I started yet another thing for me to blog about, and that the list of The Top 50 Worst Songs. I stopped part of the way because it would have been way to long. So I think I’ll pick up where I left off which was number 38.
So anyhow they list “Cotton Eye Joe” by Rednex as number 38 on the list of worst songs. This song was a great song way back in 1995. I’m surprised that it’s that old because the song is so catchy that it seems like it never gets old. In fact after listening to some of their songs on you tube Rednex isn’t that bad of a band.
Number 37 on the list is “Rico Suave” by Gerardo. Ok now this song is one that deserves to be on the list of worst songs. This song sucks although the song does get some points in my book for inspiring Weird Al to make the parody song “Taco Grande”.
Well they have “Shiny, Happy People” by R.E.M. listed as number 35. Ok yet another one that defiantly deserves to be on this list. It makes me wonder what happened to the R.E.M. I know without all the upbeat happiness. Not to mention they had one of the B52’s singing with them and it wasn’t even the cute one. Then I read that it was supposed to be in reference to the Tiananmen Square massacre, I mean come on now that’s in poor taste ironic or not.
Number 33 is a fun one, “Barbie Girl” by Aqua. After listening to it again all’s I can say is wow. Some of the things they imply in that video are defiantly not Family-friendly. The song can get annoying after a while so I can see why it was put on the list.
Number 31 on the list is another one that shouldn’t be, “Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm” by The Crash Test Dummies. After all it’s not like it’s hard to sing it. The verses are a little out there but otherwise I think this is a decent song.
For number 29 they have listed “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Deep Blue Something. In my opinion this song is not bad at all. Heck how can it be when at coffee night someone started playing it on the guitar and many of the people there started singing it.
Ok one final one for the day and I’ll just have to continue it later on another blog.
Number 27 is “The Final Countdown” by Europe. This one is yet another good song that should not be on this list. I’m beginning to wonder who comes up with this list because I’m close to half way through it and I completely disagree with most of the songs. I mean seriously they listed the synthesizers as one of the worst parts of the song. I personally think that is one of the best parts of the song.
Random Bachelor Card of the Day: “Take off your shirt and do a belly dance for a cutie while humming the appropriate music. Let you posse decide when you stop.”
I’m not so sure people would want to see me with my shirt off but then again they have no problem with the one guy at The Castle who wears the hammock, and knowing my friends I’d be doing it for quite a while.
571 Words.
So anyhow they list “Cotton Eye Joe” by Rednex as number 38 on the list of worst songs. This song was a great song way back in 1995. I’m surprised that it’s that old because the song is so catchy that it seems like it never gets old. In fact after listening to some of their songs on you tube Rednex isn’t that bad of a band.
Number 37 on the list is “Rico Suave” by Gerardo. Ok now this song is one that deserves to be on the list of worst songs. This song sucks although the song does get some points in my book for inspiring Weird Al to make the parody song “Taco Grande”.
Well they have “Shiny, Happy People” by R.E.M. listed as number 35. Ok yet another one that defiantly deserves to be on this list. It makes me wonder what happened to the R.E.M. I know without all the upbeat happiness. Not to mention they had one of the B52’s singing with them and it wasn’t even the cute one. Then I read that it was supposed to be in reference to the Tiananmen Square massacre, I mean come on now that’s in poor taste ironic or not.
Number 33 is a fun one, “Barbie Girl” by Aqua. After listening to it again all’s I can say is wow. Some of the things they imply in that video are defiantly not Family-friendly. The song can get annoying after a while so I can see why it was put on the list.
Number 31 on the list is another one that shouldn’t be, “Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm” by The Crash Test Dummies. After all it’s not like it’s hard to sing it. The verses are a little out there but otherwise I think this is a decent song.
For number 29 they have listed “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” by Deep Blue Something. In my opinion this song is not bad at all. Heck how can it be when at coffee night someone started playing it on the guitar and many of the people there started singing it.
Ok one final one for the day and I’ll just have to continue it later on another blog.
Number 27 is “The Final Countdown” by Europe. This one is yet another good song that should not be on this list. I’m beginning to wonder who comes up with this list because I’m close to half way through it and I completely disagree with most of the songs. I mean seriously they listed the synthesizers as one of the worst parts of the song. I personally think that is one of the best parts of the song.
Random Bachelor Card of the Day: “Take off your shirt and do a belly dance for a cutie while humming the appropriate music. Let you posse decide when you stop.”
I’m not so sure people would want to see me with my shirt off but then again they have no problem with the one guy at The Castle who wears the hammock, and knowing my friends I’d be doing it for quite a while.
571 Words.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Top 50 Worst songs Part 1
Ok so I was sitting here trying to come up with an idea on what to write about so I did my random button push and came across something interesting. I found an article that Blender magazine did called the 50 worst songs of all time. So I’ve decided to go through the list and pick out some of the songs and give my opinion on them.
Well I’ll start at number 50. For number 50 they have listed “My Heart Will Go On” aka the Titanic song by Celine Dion. In my opinion the song wasn’t that bad at first but then I heard it again and again and again and now I’m just sick of it. On a scale of one to five with five being a great song I’d give this song a two.
Now I don’t intend on going straight through the list but number 49 was a song I just had to do. The song is “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred. Personally this song isn’t that bad in fact I think it’s kinda laughable. I find it funny how people will find random things and say they are too sexy for it like I’m too sexy for this blog.
Number 46 is “Hanging Tough” by New Kids on the Block. Now this song isn’t that bad granted I’d never own it, but then again when I hear it I just think of my sister and cousin going crazy over them like typical teenage girls did back then.
For number 44 they have listed is “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)” by Meat Loaf. Now I don’t see where this would be one of the worst songs ever. In fact I like this song. They say that the reason this is a bad song because he never says what he won’t do but he does in fact say it in the verse before that line. He won’t forget her, he won’t forgive himself he doesn’t leave with her now, he won’t ever do it better than he does it with her, he’ll never stop dreaming about her every night, he won’t move on and, he won’t go screwing around. Ok you know after thinking about it this song seems kinda stalkerish.
They have Billy Joel’s “I Didn’t Start the Fire” as number 41. This song isn’t that bad in fact I think it’s pretty good. They compare it to a term paper that was put together the night before it was due, now I guess I can see that but how does that make it a bad song?
Since this was bigger than I thought and I’m already at 450 words I’ll do one last song and then I’ll continue it tomorrow and just keep going until I finish it. Granted I’ll have to take a break at some point to do my Dragon Gods story, anyhow on with the last song of the day.
For number 39 they have “She Bangs” by Ricky Martin. I don’t know about this song after all how bad a song can be when it spawned the phenomenon that is William Hung. I can’t help but think of him whenever I hear this song he is just too funny.
Random Bachelor Card of the Day: “Ask a honey if she’d like her fortune told. If she says yes, examine her hand and say, ‘You’re going to make out with me.’”
That was an interesting one I could see a couple members of our group doing that too.
593 Words.
Well I’ll start at number 50. For number 50 they have listed “My Heart Will Go On” aka the Titanic song by Celine Dion. In my opinion the song wasn’t that bad at first but then I heard it again and again and again and now I’m just sick of it. On a scale of one to five with five being a great song I’d give this song a two.
Now I don’t intend on going straight through the list but number 49 was a song I just had to do. The song is “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred. Personally this song isn’t that bad in fact I think it’s kinda laughable. I find it funny how people will find random things and say they are too sexy for it like I’m too sexy for this blog.
Number 46 is “Hanging Tough” by New Kids on the Block. Now this song isn’t that bad granted I’d never own it, but then again when I hear it I just think of my sister and cousin going crazy over them like typical teenage girls did back then.
For number 44 they have listed is “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)” by Meat Loaf. Now I don’t see where this would be one of the worst songs ever. In fact I like this song. They say that the reason this is a bad song because he never says what he won’t do but he does in fact say it in the verse before that line. He won’t forget her, he won’t forgive himself he doesn’t leave with her now, he won’t ever do it better than he does it with her, he’ll never stop dreaming about her every night, he won’t move on and, he won’t go screwing around. Ok you know after thinking about it this song seems kinda stalkerish.
They have Billy Joel’s “I Didn’t Start the Fire” as number 41. This song isn’t that bad in fact I think it’s pretty good. They compare it to a term paper that was put together the night before it was due, now I guess I can see that but how does that make it a bad song?
Since this was bigger than I thought and I’m already at 450 words I’ll do one last song and then I’ll continue it tomorrow and just keep going until I finish it. Granted I’ll have to take a break at some point to do my Dragon Gods story, anyhow on with the last song of the day.
For number 39 they have “She Bangs” by Ricky Martin. I don’t know about this song after all how bad a song can be when it spawned the phenomenon that is William Hung. I can’t help but think of him whenever I hear this song he is just too funny.
Random Bachelor Card of the Day: “Ask a honey if she’d like her fortune told. If she says yes, examine her hand and say, ‘You’re going to make out with me.’”
That was an interesting one I could see a couple members of our group doing that too.
593 Words.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Mushroomhead story
So I was sitting around our new fire pit tonight trying to come up with something to blog about when I thought why not just do another Eric story, so I will. I kinda figure since I teased everyone about the time One Breath opened for major metal band Mushroomhead I would tell you about it now. First however I’m sure some of you may not know who Mushroomhead is so I’ll tell you.
Mushroomhead is a heavy metal band that is originally based out of Cleveland, OH. I guess they are technically industrial metal. One of the distinguishing features about them is the fact that most of the members wear masks. This has caused some controversy among fans of Slipknot because fans of both bands claim they stole the mask idea from each other. Personally I don’t care because in my opinion both bands are great. Mushroomhead has been on movie soundtracks and on MTV’s “Headbanger’s Ball” so needless to say this was a huge deal.
Now this was a hectic day to say the least. The night before we had played at the exact same venue as a last minute replacement opening act for Prong, another major metal band whom have been cited as an influence to such greats as Jonathan Davis of Korn and Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, so we luckily did not have to worry about loading and unloading our gear. However, the band had asked for us roadies to go in and help Mushroomhead unload early in the morning, alas of all five or six of One Breath’s roadies I was the only one to show up. Anyhow I went in and helped them unload the trucks and help a little bit with setup and then went home.
Later on for some reason or another we were running late for sound check and we had to literally run into the venue in the rain and start setting up while the band members tried to find parking spaces. Well we made it in time and after some major hustling and teamwork among the roadies we were ready for the sound check in no time.
Well One Breath played their set and then while the second opening band was playing their own set we went “backstage” and brought along our two VIP guests my sister and her friend. You see the venue they played in was an indoor driving range called the Golf Dome and with a full sports bar in it. Well the backstage area was the driving range and while we were back there we got to hang out with Mushroomhead without their masks on and got to hit some golf balls with them and just generally shoot the breeze with them.
Well when it was time for Mushroomhead to go onstage we left and went to find a place to stand. Luckily we decided to stand on the side because when Mushroomhead got on stage the entire bar was a mosh pit literally from wall to wall nothing but a mosh pit. My sister had to climb on top of a speaker with the help of our bass player because it was so intense.
Well after everything was all said and done and the crowds had left we were talking to the band and they were saying that they were impressed with our band. They even went as far as to give us a few pointers on some of our songs.
Well after our conversation and all we loaded up our gear and headed home for the night.
Random Bachelor Card of the Day:”Tell to chicks you’re getting married, and ask them to fulfill your last wish as a bachelor: to see a little girl-on-girl lip-locking action.”
I would defiantly take that dare or at least watch while someone else does the dare.
If you would like to see a Mushroomhead video just click here and it will take you to a You Yube music video of their first single.
668 Words.
Mushroomhead is a heavy metal band that is originally based out of Cleveland, OH. I guess they are technically industrial metal. One of the distinguishing features about them is the fact that most of the members wear masks. This has caused some controversy among fans of Slipknot because fans of both bands claim they stole the mask idea from each other. Personally I don’t care because in my opinion both bands are great. Mushroomhead has been on movie soundtracks and on MTV’s “Headbanger’s Ball” so needless to say this was a huge deal.
Now this was a hectic day to say the least. The night before we had played at the exact same venue as a last minute replacement opening act for Prong, another major metal band whom have been cited as an influence to such greats as Jonathan Davis of Korn and Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, so we luckily did not have to worry about loading and unloading our gear. However, the band had asked for us roadies to go in and help Mushroomhead unload early in the morning, alas of all five or six of One Breath’s roadies I was the only one to show up. Anyhow I went in and helped them unload the trucks and help a little bit with setup and then went home.
Later on for some reason or another we were running late for sound check and we had to literally run into the venue in the rain and start setting up while the band members tried to find parking spaces. Well we made it in time and after some major hustling and teamwork among the roadies we were ready for the sound check in no time.
Well One Breath played their set and then while the second opening band was playing their own set we went “backstage” and brought along our two VIP guests my sister and her friend. You see the venue they played in was an indoor driving range called the Golf Dome and with a full sports bar in it. Well the backstage area was the driving range and while we were back there we got to hang out with Mushroomhead without their masks on and got to hit some golf balls with them and just generally shoot the breeze with them.
Well when it was time for Mushroomhead to go onstage we left and went to find a place to stand. Luckily we decided to stand on the side because when Mushroomhead got on stage the entire bar was a mosh pit literally from wall to wall nothing but a mosh pit. My sister had to climb on top of a speaker with the help of our bass player because it was so intense.
Well after everything was all said and done and the crowds had left we were talking to the band and they were saying that they were impressed with our band. They even went as far as to give us a few pointers on some of our songs.
Well after our conversation and all we loaded up our gear and headed home for the night.
Random Bachelor Card of the Day:”Tell to chicks you’re getting married, and ask them to fulfill your last wish as a bachelor: to see a little girl-on-girl lip-locking action.”
I would defiantly take that dare or at least watch while someone else does the dare.
If you would like to see a Mushroomhead video just click here and it will take you to a You Yube music video of their first single.
668 Words.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Drinking Off the Job While At the Job
Well first off let me just say I had a great time at Poker night and look forward to the next one. For those that read my blog and don’t know what I’m talking about, tonight the community group I am a member of, The Phoenix Projects (http://phoenixprojects.org), put on a poker night as a fundraiser. Anyhow one of the things that makes me happy is the fact that for the past few poker nights we’ve had I didn’t have enough chips at the end of the night to get this little dragon sculpture that I needed to even out my collection. You see on my dresser I have three big wizard sculptures and two little ones and until tonight I had three big dragon sculptures and only one small one so it was a little unbalanced, but now that I had enough chips I was able to get the dragon that had eluded me for months and balance out my collection.
Ok now that that’s out of the way and I still have more words to type I guess I’ll tell another Spee-D-Foods story. This story only involves two other people besides me; my pretty cool co-worker who I’ll call Bruce and a frequent customer by the name of “Wayne”. Well Bruce and I had been working together and closing together for a few months, and he was I pretty cool guy. Well one day he and I were closing and a few punk kids came into the store paid for about 60 dollars worth of gas made a huge mess in the restroom and left, without pumping their gas. So here we had some kids who left without getting the full 60 dollars of gas. Well the night went on and the kids never came back for the money. Well at the end of the night we have to makes sure there is no purchases pending on the register. Well we had to clear out the refund in the register. Since it was closing time and it had been about five hours since the kids trashed the restroom, we decided to accept it as a tip. Looking back I know I should have taken it out set it aside and left a note for my boss, but that’s not what we did.
So at closing time Wayne was in the store and Bruce and I decided we’d spend our tip on some Smirnov Ice. We each got a six pack, and after our work was done we clocked out and while waiting for the registers to produce the paperwork we went over to the tables that were set up for eating hot dogs or whatever and the three of us started drinking and bs-ing for about an hour. Little did we know that this would be Bruce’s last night there. The next day he was fired for smoking weed out the back door. So I guess it was kinda fitting that we did that the night before, after all how many people can say on the last night they worked at a job they got drunk? The best part was the store manager never knew about that night or, if he did he didn’t care.
Random Bachelor Card of the Day:”Pour a Prairie Fire (tequila and Tabasco sauce) down the hatch.”
Wow what a fitting card for the story I just told! I don’t think I could handle that though since hot stuff doesn’t exactly agree with my throat.
581 Words
Ok now that that’s out of the way and I still have more words to type I guess I’ll tell another Spee-D-Foods story. This story only involves two other people besides me; my pretty cool co-worker who I’ll call Bruce and a frequent customer by the name of “Wayne”. Well Bruce and I had been working together and closing together for a few months, and he was I pretty cool guy. Well one day he and I were closing and a few punk kids came into the store paid for about 60 dollars worth of gas made a huge mess in the restroom and left, without pumping their gas. So here we had some kids who left without getting the full 60 dollars of gas. Well the night went on and the kids never came back for the money. Well at the end of the night we have to makes sure there is no purchases pending on the register. Well we had to clear out the refund in the register. Since it was closing time and it had been about five hours since the kids trashed the restroom, we decided to accept it as a tip. Looking back I know I should have taken it out set it aside and left a note for my boss, but that’s not what we did.
So at closing time Wayne was in the store and Bruce and I decided we’d spend our tip on some Smirnov Ice. We each got a six pack, and after our work was done we clocked out and while waiting for the registers to produce the paperwork we went over to the tables that were set up for eating hot dogs or whatever and the three of us started drinking and bs-ing for about an hour. Little did we know that this would be Bruce’s last night there. The next day he was fired for smoking weed out the back door. So I guess it was kinda fitting that we did that the night before, after all how many people can say on the last night they worked at a job they got drunk? The best part was the store manager never knew about that night or, if he did he didn’t care.
Random Bachelor Card of the Day:”Pour a Prairie Fire (tequila and Tabasco sauce) down the hatch.”
Wow what a fitting card for the story I just told! I don’t think I could handle that though since hot stuff doesn’t exactly agree with my throat.
581 Words
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