Well here it is my weekly chapter of my “Return of the Dragon Gods” story. Well last week I told the story of the bumbling thief that stole the rod of wonder from Lady Moonshadow’s vault, and then proceeded to try to use it resulting in him becoming a pile of ashes. So this week I will tell the story of Lord Shieldheart. However to tell his story I must go back many years to when he was barely an infant.
Lord Howard Shieldheart was a proud man who was eager for his son Richard to take his throne and lead the battle into the impending war with the dwarves of Stormforge. The day of the royal coronation Richard he had gone missing. The only thing left in his bedchambers was a note explaining that he was taken by the king of the dwarves King Jamkool. Furious that the dwarves and taken his son who had just given him his first grandchild he stormed the Dwarven kingdom and kidnapped the King of the dwarves only son, Nanar. Howard made the demand that his son Richard be returned to him at once. King Jamkool, who was a little mentally unstable made the promise to give him Richard in exchange for not only Nanar, but control of the Mithral mines as well.
After a few days Howard agreed on the conditions providing that Richard be returned first then Nanar would be safely returned, however the dwarves counter offered with the papers to the mines being delivered, then Richard would be returned. Howard agreed to the terms. Days later dwarves were spotted delivering a box to the gates of The Shieldheart castle. Richard quickly ran to the gate to open the box hoping against hope that his son was somehow in it. Richard opened the box and it was filled with the body of Richard slaughtered. Attached to the box was a note reading “We said we would return Richard to you. We didn’t say anything about him being alive when we did. However fear not he was slaughtered for a good cause, he was a sacrifice to the great Erythnul.”
Infuriated that the Dwarven king had broken his vow he decided that he didn’t have to honor his end. Howard ordered his faithful servant to take the infant prince into the woods and kill him. The servant took him into the forest but didn’t have the heart to kill an infant. So he took him deep into the forest and left the infant there to let fate do whatever it wished to the baby.
Hours later a hunter found the baby and brought it in to the local orphanage to be raised there.
451 Words.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Top 50 Worst? songs Part 6 (The final part)
Well here we go the final installment of the 50 Worst Songs. I’m sure most of you are happy about this but I enjoyed doing it, and may do something similar in the future. Well anyhow here is the top 5 so called worst songs of all time.
Number 5 on the list is a favorite of mine, Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”. Ok sure he stole his opening riff from Queen, but hell this song is so corny who can stop themselves from singing along to it. I know I can’t stop myself. How can you forget the great lyrics “If there was a problem? Yo I’ll solve it. Check out my hook while the DJ revolves it.” Although I’ve gotta say the metal version of this song is much better. Word to your mother.
For number 4 we go to another good song this one is from everyone’s favorite band to hate Limp Bizkit and their song is “Rollin’”. This song was great, it is catchy, has a great beat, and the video had Ben Stiller and Steven Dorf in it, and was probably the last video to feature the twin towers in it. The video was filmed at the World Trade Center and possibly some scenes inside of it as well.
Moving right along here, the third worst song of all time according to Blender magazine is “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” by Wang Chung. Come on people this song is a classic how can anyone say it sucks? It’s yet another song that should not be on this list. Sure these guys were one hit wonders but heck their one hit is a good one. Who doesn’t want to have fun? Probably the guys that wrote this article in the first place that’s who. Judging from some of the songs they’ve picked these guys must a couple of boring stiffs who don’t know how to have a good time.
The second worst song ever is a song that for once I agree with one hundred percent for it being on this list, although it should have been number one. The song is “Achy Breaky Heart” by one of the most popular fathers out there right now Miley Cyrus’s dad Billy Ray. I must admit though I love the Weird Al parody version of this song.
Ok and drum roll please, the number one absolute worst song of all time according to Blender magazine is “We Built This City” sung by Starship. Seriously? This is the worst song ever? What the hell? This song is a classic it shouldn’t even be on this list let alone in the number one spot.
I’m glad this list is over because it gives me a headache just thinking of all the good songs that were on this list and knowing some of the songs that should have been on it. Oh well maybe my friends and I can come up with a better list, hell we could even make it into a drinking game. That could be fun I may have to get everyone to try it this weekend.
Random Bachelor Dare Card of the Day: “Call an ex on your cell phone and tell her you want her back bad. After a few moments of saying how much you’ve missed her lovin’, stop and say, ‘Wait is this Candy? Ah crap I dialed the wrong number.’”
That would be a funny one to see someone do. Granted I couldn’t do that one since I don’t have an ex, but still I think it’d be funny.
595 Words.
Can’t wait to see everyone out at Midsummers tomorrow. Now I just have to find a way to post my blogs this weekend.
Number 5 on the list is a favorite of mine, Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”. Ok sure he stole his opening riff from Queen, but hell this song is so corny who can stop themselves from singing along to it. I know I can’t stop myself. How can you forget the great lyrics “If there was a problem? Yo I’ll solve it. Check out my hook while the DJ revolves it.” Although I’ve gotta say the metal version of this song is much better. Word to your mother.
For number 4 we go to another good song this one is from everyone’s favorite band to hate Limp Bizkit and their song is “Rollin’”. This song was great, it is catchy, has a great beat, and the video had Ben Stiller and Steven Dorf in it, and was probably the last video to feature the twin towers in it. The video was filmed at the World Trade Center and possibly some scenes inside of it as well.
Moving right along here, the third worst song of all time according to Blender magazine is “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” by Wang Chung. Come on people this song is a classic how can anyone say it sucks? It’s yet another song that should not be on this list. Sure these guys were one hit wonders but heck their one hit is a good one. Who doesn’t want to have fun? Probably the guys that wrote this article in the first place that’s who. Judging from some of the songs they’ve picked these guys must a couple of boring stiffs who don’t know how to have a good time.
The second worst song ever is a song that for once I agree with one hundred percent for it being on this list, although it should have been number one. The song is “Achy Breaky Heart” by one of the most popular fathers out there right now Miley Cyrus’s dad Billy Ray. I must admit though I love the Weird Al parody version of this song.
Ok and drum roll please, the number one absolute worst song of all time according to Blender magazine is “We Built This City” sung by Starship. Seriously? This is the worst song ever? What the hell? This song is a classic it shouldn’t even be on this list let alone in the number one spot.
I’m glad this list is over because it gives me a headache just thinking of all the good songs that were on this list and knowing some of the songs that should have been on it. Oh well maybe my friends and I can come up with a better list, hell we could even make it into a drinking game. That could be fun I may have to get everyone to try it this weekend.
Random Bachelor Dare Card of the Day: “Call an ex on your cell phone and tell her you want her back bad. After a few moments of saying how much you’ve missed her lovin’, stop and say, ‘Wait is this Candy? Ah crap I dialed the wrong number.’”
That would be a funny one to see someone do. Granted I couldn’t do that one since I don’t have an ex, but still I think it’d be funny.
595 Words.
Can’t wait to see everyone out at Midsummers tomorrow. Now I just have to find a way to post my blogs this weekend.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Top 50 Worst? songs Part 5
Well like I said yesterday I plan on finishing up the so called 50 worst songs list. Since I’m down to the top ten I’ll just go straight through without skipping over songs, for today I’ll more than likely only go to number six and then tomorrow go for 5 through 1. Anyhow without further ado let’s start.
Number 10 is a pure classic by two legends Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder singing “Ebony and Ivory”. This is yet another song that should not be on this list. This song talks about racism and how it should stop. So what makes it a bad song?
Number 9 is “American Life” by Madonna. Well this is actually a song I agree with being on the list of 50 worst songs. Just listening to it is enough to make my ears hurt. This is not a normal Madonna song because most of her songs are actual good.
Number 8 is Eddie Murphy singing “Party All the Time” with Rick James. “Party All the Time” is a decent song so why would they put it on this list? I mean who hasn’t gone around singing this song? Is it just because Eddie is known as an actor and not a singer? I have always had fun listening to this song.
So the next song on the list is “Don’t Worry Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin. I can see some of these songs on this list where they talk about being happy to the point where it’s annoying, but this song just genuinely makes you happy. Maybe it’s just the Jamaican accent that makes you feel good I don’t know but it just feels good listening to this song. Then watching the video I can’t help but laugh at Robin Williams. That guy alone is enough to make you laugh. The song talks about not letting things in your life getting you down, and I think that everyone should do this. Yeah we have stuff going on in our lives that we wish were not weather it’s a jackass of a stepfather making threats against you or bills that are overdue just don’t let it get to you. It makes me wonder if these people are listening to the lyrics or the meanings behind the lyrics.
Today’s final song, number 6, is “The Heart of Rock and Roll” by Huey Lewis and the News. Come on how can you not like this song? Besides the fact that lyrics in the song are all true, so what if he’s just name dropping cities it’s still a good song to listen to. The rock genre is really starting to grow heck two of the top contestants on American Idol this year plus last year’s winner are all rockers. Hell one of those contestants were asked to go on tour with one of the greatest classic rock bands of all time, Queen. So yeah the heart of rock and roll is still beating and beating strong. This song does not belong on this list period.
Random Bachelor Dare Card: “Go up to a blond bomb and pretend she’s a porn star. Say, ‘Didn’t I see you in On Golden Blonde?’”
Wow that’s enough to get you slapped across the face. I’m not so sure I’d want to do this dare.
553 Words
Number 10 is a pure classic by two legends Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder singing “Ebony and Ivory”. This is yet another song that should not be on this list. This song talks about racism and how it should stop. So what makes it a bad song?
Number 9 is “American Life” by Madonna. Well this is actually a song I agree with being on the list of 50 worst songs. Just listening to it is enough to make my ears hurt. This is not a normal Madonna song because most of her songs are actual good.
Number 8 is Eddie Murphy singing “Party All the Time” with Rick James. “Party All the Time” is a decent song so why would they put it on this list? I mean who hasn’t gone around singing this song? Is it just because Eddie is known as an actor and not a singer? I have always had fun listening to this song.
So the next song on the list is “Don’t Worry Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin. I can see some of these songs on this list where they talk about being happy to the point where it’s annoying, but this song just genuinely makes you happy. Maybe it’s just the Jamaican accent that makes you feel good I don’t know but it just feels good listening to this song. Then watching the video I can’t help but laugh at Robin Williams. That guy alone is enough to make you laugh. The song talks about not letting things in your life getting you down, and I think that everyone should do this. Yeah we have stuff going on in our lives that we wish were not weather it’s a jackass of a stepfather making threats against you or bills that are overdue just don’t let it get to you. It makes me wonder if these people are listening to the lyrics or the meanings behind the lyrics.
Today’s final song, number 6, is “The Heart of Rock and Roll” by Huey Lewis and the News. Come on how can you not like this song? Besides the fact that lyrics in the song are all true, so what if he’s just name dropping cities it’s still a good song to listen to. The rock genre is really starting to grow heck two of the top contestants on American Idol this year plus last year’s winner are all rockers. Hell one of those contestants were asked to go on tour with one of the greatest classic rock bands of all time, Queen. So yeah the heart of rock and roll is still beating and beating strong. This song does not belong on this list period.
Random Bachelor Dare Card: “Go up to a blond bomb and pretend she’s a porn star. Say, ‘Didn’t I see you in On Golden Blonde?’”
Wow that’s enough to get you slapped across the face. I’m not so sure I’d want to do this dare.
553 Words
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Top 50 Worst? songs Part 4
Well I figured I might as well get this list done and over with before Midsummers since I will have a hard enough time just trying to find a place where I can write and upload my blogs since we can’t put the competition on hold because most of the people left, myself included, will be extremely busy and will most likely have to leave the festival daily, or nightly, just to blog and miss out on all the fun. So I will not be able to check the list of songs while I’m there or listen to them as well. Anyhow I’ll get started with the list.
So I’ll start off with number 15 since the last one I did was 16. Number 15 is “I’ll Be There for You” by The Rembrandts. Wow here’s a band that went nowhere how bad do you have to be when your only hit song that you are remembered for is the theme song to a TV show? I can defiantly see why this song is on the list. I’m surprised that no one got tired of it sooner between overplay on the radio and most people hearing it every Thursday? night.
Number 14 is Bette Midler singing “From a Distance”. Ok this song isn’t that bad, but it was overplayed. Although listening to it now it’s almost like she’s trying to sing a gospel song. I know it was another song for our troops but come on I swear she says “God is watching us” like 50 times. Enough is enough.
Number 12 defiantly a song that does NOT belong on this list, I mean come on who doesn’t like “Kokomo” by The Beach Boys. This song is such a good song and the video was great too, especially with most everyone’s favorite uncle (I liked uncle Joey better but then I grew up watching Dave on Out of Control) playing the congas and Tom Cruise flipping liquor bottles like a pro.
Number 11 is “Invisible” by Clay Aiken. This song is a definite one to be on this list. If you sit and listen to the lyrics of it he kinda sounds like a stalker. The funny thing about him is the whole fact that for years he kept telling everyone that he was not gay even though he was big blip on everyone gaydar, but just this past year when it seems like everyone was starting to forget about him, he comes out of the closet. However I do like the reaction of everyone when he did, everyone pretty much said “Yeah what else is new?” So then he tries to dis Adam Lambert just to get people to say his name. What a looser it’s a good thing they picked Rueben.
Well I think I’ll stop there and work on the top ten tomorrow and Thursday so that Friday I can bring you another Dragon Gods story and maybe I’ll come up with another Eric story for Saturday, but then again this is a random blog so who knows maybe I’ll go for something completely different.
Random Bachelor Card of the Day: “Find a microphone (or use a beer bottle) and sing Beyoncé’s ‘Bootylicious’ to a group of pretty young thangs. Don’t forget to shake your moneymaker.”
That would be a fun one to do and can pretty much guarantee some time with the women since you’ve already broken the barrier down.
574 Words
To get a look at the list yourself just click on the title of this blog and it will take you to the website that I found these on.
So I’ll start off with number 15 since the last one I did was 16. Number 15 is “I’ll Be There for You” by The Rembrandts. Wow here’s a band that went nowhere how bad do you have to be when your only hit song that you are remembered for is the theme song to a TV show? I can defiantly see why this song is on the list. I’m surprised that no one got tired of it sooner between overplay on the radio and most people hearing it every Thursday? night.
Number 14 is Bette Midler singing “From a Distance”. Ok this song isn’t that bad, but it was overplayed. Although listening to it now it’s almost like she’s trying to sing a gospel song. I know it was another song for our troops but come on I swear she says “God is watching us” like 50 times. Enough is enough.
Number 12 defiantly a song that does NOT belong on this list, I mean come on who doesn’t like “Kokomo” by The Beach Boys. This song is such a good song and the video was great too, especially with most everyone’s favorite uncle (I liked uncle Joey better but then I grew up watching Dave on Out of Control) playing the congas and Tom Cruise flipping liquor bottles like a pro.
Number 11 is “Invisible” by Clay Aiken. This song is a definite one to be on this list. If you sit and listen to the lyrics of it he kinda sounds like a stalker. The funny thing about him is the whole fact that for years he kept telling everyone that he was not gay even though he was big blip on everyone gaydar, but just this past year when it seems like everyone was starting to forget about him, he comes out of the closet. However I do like the reaction of everyone when he did, everyone pretty much said “Yeah what else is new?” So then he tries to dis Adam Lambert just to get people to say his name. What a looser it’s a good thing they picked Rueben.
Well I think I’ll stop there and work on the top ten tomorrow and Thursday so that Friday I can bring you another Dragon Gods story and maybe I’ll come up with another Eric story for Saturday, but then again this is a random blog so who knows maybe I’ll go for something completely different.
Random Bachelor Card of the Day: “Find a microphone (or use a beer bottle) and sing Beyoncé’s ‘Bootylicious’ to a group of pretty young thangs. Don’t forget to shake your moneymaker.”
That would be a fun one to do and can pretty much guarantee some time with the women since you’ve already broken the barrier down.
574 Words
To get a look at the list yourself just click on the title of this blog and it will take you to the website that I found these on.
Monday, June 8, 2009
My First Time and I Feel so Dirty for Doing It
I still can’t believe I did it. It was my first time ever doing it, but I hope I never do it again. I still feel kinda dirty doing it. I mean she just did not perform to my standards. Whoa wait a minute here get your mind out of the gutter this is supposed to be family friendly here, I’m talking about not giving a waitress her tip.
Today for dinner I decided to go to Pizza Hut for dinner so I walk in and after waiting a minute or two my waitress gives me a menu, seats me, and walks away before I even sit down not even taking my drink order. After a minute or two she finally comes back to find out what I want. So I order some cheese bread and a P’Zone then she asks me what I want to drink. Well she brings me my soda and I drink it until there’s no more and then proceeded to wait for about five minutes until she brought my cheese bread sticks before getting my refill. So I ate my sticks and drank my soda until it was half gone then she brought my P’Zone, and didn’t take my empty plates or ask me if I wanted a refill. So I ate my P’Zone and at this point babied my soda even though she was in the booth right next to me rolling silverware and chit chatting about how she wishes she wasn’t there and how the one waiter’s girlfriend just broke up with him. After a while she got up and started wiping tables, on the other side of the restaurant! Then when I was finished she came over to ask me if I wanted a refill despite earlier coming by and seeing a cup that was between half and three quarters empty and most of my food still untouched. The one other thing she did that upset me the most was when she brought me my cheese bread sticks, she set them down on the table, set my refill down, turned around, walked a few feet, and then said “Enjoy”. That’s right she said it like it was an afterthought, I’m sorry but correct me if I’m wrong but as a waitress or waiter for that matter the customer enjoying their food should not be an afterthought. Now I would have excused this and thought nothing of it if the place was busy, but they were pretty much dead. So since she pretty much couldn’t care about me, her customer, I didn’t give her a tip.
Don’t get me wrong I usually give tips to wait staff, barbers, and whoever but the way she was acting I felt she did not deserve a tip. Do I feel good about it? No, but maybe she’ll learn from this and realize that in order to get a tip you have to earn it. Earning a tip means doing things like asking your customer if everything is ok more than once and not when they look like they’re ready to leave, or paying attention to their cup and giving them refills after they get around halfway through the drink, you know small stuff like that. So to any wait people reading this blog relax this is not a regular occurrence.
Random Bachelor Dare Card of the Day: “Have a group of gals give you a make-over using whatever girlie stuff they have on hand.”
This one seems pretty harmless enough and besides there is nothing better than looking a beautiful girl in the eyes whiles she’s putting stuff on your face.
605 Words.
Today for dinner I decided to go to Pizza Hut for dinner so I walk in and after waiting a minute or two my waitress gives me a menu, seats me, and walks away before I even sit down not even taking my drink order. After a minute or two she finally comes back to find out what I want. So I order some cheese bread and a P’Zone then she asks me what I want to drink. Well she brings me my soda and I drink it until there’s no more and then proceeded to wait for about five minutes until she brought my cheese bread sticks before getting my refill. So I ate my sticks and drank my soda until it was half gone then she brought my P’Zone, and didn’t take my empty plates or ask me if I wanted a refill. So I ate my P’Zone and at this point babied my soda even though she was in the booth right next to me rolling silverware and chit chatting about how she wishes she wasn’t there and how the one waiter’s girlfriend just broke up with him. After a while she got up and started wiping tables, on the other side of the restaurant! Then when I was finished she came over to ask me if I wanted a refill despite earlier coming by and seeing a cup that was between half and three quarters empty and most of my food still untouched. The one other thing she did that upset me the most was when she brought me my cheese bread sticks, she set them down on the table, set my refill down, turned around, walked a few feet, and then said “Enjoy”. That’s right she said it like it was an afterthought, I’m sorry but correct me if I’m wrong but as a waitress or waiter for that matter the customer enjoying their food should not be an afterthought. Now I would have excused this and thought nothing of it if the place was busy, but they were pretty much dead. So since she pretty much couldn’t care about me, her customer, I didn’t give her a tip.
Don’t get me wrong I usually give tips to wait staff, barbers, and whoever but the way she was acting I felt she did not deserve a tip. Do I feel good about it? No, but maybe she’ll learn from this and realize that in order to get a tip you have to earn it. Earning a tip means doing things like asking your customer if everything is ok more than once and not when they look like they’re ready to leave, or paying attention to their cup and giving them refills after they get around halfway through the drink, you know small stuff like that. So to any wait people reading this blog relax this is not a regular occurrence.
Random Bachelor Dare Card of the Day: “Have a group of gals give you a make-over using whatever girlie stuff they have on hand.”
This one seems pretty harmless enough and besides there is nothing better than looking a beautiful girl in the eyes whiles she’s putting stuff on your face.
605 Words.
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